![]() What is my secret you ask? My secret to triumphing after tragedy? First and foremost, I put God first.. each day as a widow I wake up alone, I have spent many of lonely nights in hotels traveling sharing my story, I have watch the sunrise and sun set alone (physically). Each day I look forward to another day and give thanks to God for allowing me to hurt and to heal. As cruel as it may sound to some, I have chosen to surround myself with positive, encouraging people who will love me for who I am and not judge me by who they want to be. There have been not just a few people, but hundreds or thousands who have tried to give me a direction or their two cents and that is great and well appreciated. But, realize this. No matter how tragic your life or struggle may be, its nothing like mine. Nor is mine like yours. We all have had a series of unfortunate events in our life and that is the BEST part about life. When you are struck with tragedy, you have been called upon to rise above the struggle, to triumph. Jamie and I prepared for the worse case scenario before he deployed, he sat me down and had me watch Restrepo, the hurt locker and other military movies to prepare me for the worst. It wasn't until April 9,2011 when he called me and I could hear the fear in his voice did I know this was real. Jamie and I were able to talk for 2 hours that night about our life, our love and how we should put God first. Jamie had told me each day was a struggle, they were taking heat from the enemy and contact nearly every time they left the wire, as his wife, I reminded him to close his eyes and remember our last kiss and that we are as one, when he is weak I am strong. The next morning while driving to work my phone rang with an out of area number thinking it was Jamie, when I picked up the phone I heard a cold voice that was not my husband, it was a man calling to tell me that Jamie was wounded and in surgery. Right at that moment I could of stopped and let my world shut down, I could have drove my car into a wall, I could have chosen to not deal with this tragedy and walk away.. I could have done many things but what I did do, was try to get control of my emotions, I started taking deep breaths, thinking of Jamie and saying a prayer not for strength for myself to get through this, I said a prayer and asked God to take my strength and give it Jamie on the operating table, I asked God to give everything I am to the man who help create me into the woman I become. With in a few days Jamie was flowed to American soil and placed in ICU at Walter Reed hospital, he was paralyzed from the chest down, not able to eat, drink or breathe on his own. When he needed to walk, I walked for him, when he needed to talk, I talked for him. Everything he couldn't do I could and I did. Even at that point, Jamie and I chose to put God first, we chose to only surround ourselves with people who were selfless, encouraging and supportive to us in our time of need. That was our secret, that is how we survived for the last 11 months of my husbands life and how each day I wake up and move forward <3
1 Comment
Le Anna
3/17/2014 11:10:21 am
I have been reading your texts since this began.
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AuthorMy name is Melissa Jarboe, military spouse, wounded warrior wife and war widow. Today and everyday moving forward, I will honor the sacrifice of our men and women who selflessly serve our nation. Archives
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