MELISSA JARBOE
  • Home
  • Sacrificed Book
  • About
  • News
  • Awards & Accolades
  • Get involved
    • Topeka Veterans Parade
  • Store

Melissa Jarboe

Founder & CEO Military Veteran Project | Activist | Author SACRIFICED | Mother | Lover of life |

Military Spouse of the Year.. but I am a widow?

1/21/2014

5 Comments

 
Picture
A few weeks ago, I received an email that I was nominated as Military Spouse of the year... immediately, I disqualified myself thinking a widow isn't a spouse... Then I reached out to someone on the MSOY committee to find out widows are able to be nominated because we are still considered spouses.  That was news to my ears!! 
 

Click this link to read about Military Spouse of the Year
http://shar.es/UG5jr

 
 

I'm no longer a spouse, I am a widow.  My husband doesn't come home anymore after a long days work, he doesn't leave his muddy boots at my front door, he doesn't hold me at night when I have a hard day and he just doesn't since the day he took his last breath on March 21, 2012.


Much to people's amazement, my husband is still able to move mountains, not physically but emotionally and spiritually..   He is able to do that through me as I carry on his wish & legacy.   Each day he encourages me to open my eyes, look out the window to the sky and give thanks for the ability to live another day.. Another day I can make a difference and do something he is not able to do and that is live each day to its fullest.  The classification of my ID card has changed from Spouse to Widow, but one thing remains the same, I represent my husband, honor his sacrifice and care for my military family as if he was right beside me each day.


 Its been nearly two years since I last held Jamie's hand, looked into his eyes and kissed his lips, but yet it feels like it was just yesterday.. he taught me so much since we first met in 2008, he taught me about who I was meant to be and he did that by loving me unconditionally and never giving up on me.  How many men do you know would wait for nearly six months for a first date?  Well, I knew of one and I married him!

Not only did Jamie teach me about love for myself, but the greatest of love for our country.  His dedication and loyalty to selflessly serving our nation and protecting the American soil in which I was able to walk freely on each day showed me what the true meaning of hero was.


Like so many thousands & millions of veterans around the world today who served, Jamie had no regrets.  None what so ever.  Even in the last few days of his life as he was asked if he regretted joining the Military, he had no hesitation when he answered "No, I do not have any regrets, given the choice to do it alll over again, I wouldn't change a thing, Ill take that bullet."  Now as a military spouse watching your husband deploy is hard, having him miss dinners and school activities is hard.. but watching your husband die has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  To know that as a Military Spouse, I have to put my selfish needs aside, yes, I said it, PUT MY SELFISH NEEDS ASIDE.  This means when we first got the news of Jamie being terminal and I started to cry because I was scared to be alone, or afraid of not having him there each day, that was selfish and my husband never hesitated to tell me so.  I remember it so clearly as I put my head on his bedside and cried uncontrollably, Jamie comforting me the best he could.. hearing his voice say "Let me know when you are done crying, we have work to do.." I looked up at him thinking what could we possibly do? 


As I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, he asked me if I was dying?  I took a moment to think about his question and I answered "No, Im not.. but you are!" Jamie did his crooked smile and he said " Just as I signed up to join the Military, you signed up to be my wife, I have no regrets about joining the Military, do you have any regrets about being my wife?"  I told him "No, I have no regrets, I accept our path & Im sorry for being so selfish, I feel so guilty for putting "us" off for so many years to build my career and now our time is being shortened, we had so many plans Jame.. all I want is you!" 


Looking into my eyes Jamie spoke the sweetest of words "You may not be able to see me all the time, but I promise you I will always be with you... no one cared about me when I deployed the first two deployments, when I came home you know how it was.  Now this third deployment to Afghanistan, I take a bullet, our family copes and thousands of people know my name, know my family and honor my service.  When I die, everyone will care, I know they will care because I know you, Melissa and you will care."


... And Jamie was right <3





5 Comments
heather Freeman
1/21/2014 04:53:11 am

Every chance I get to read whar melissa writes,I do. Because its always a heartfelt "part"of her life with jamie! Great job melissa continue the awesome work you do! Your a fabulous woman!

Reply
Nilda Quintana
1/21/2014 05:09:52 am

You are an amazing woman Melissa, I have talked to you a couple of times and you have been so much help. I love what you are doing, what you do to honor your husband's wishes. I admire you, you better than anyone know what we go through each day, because you has well have been through the same. Thank you Melissa for being such an incredible person!

Reply
Theresa Zenz link
1/21/2014 07:16:16 am

Melissa, You always leave aww...struck when I read your stories about you and Jamie. And also in tears. I step back and look at my life and look at a few things that I've been going through in the last few months. And nothing compares to what you and your family has gone through. Though what I have been through and through counseling I've become a stronger person. And seeing through your stories and your eyes Melissa you are such a strong person. That God has given you the strength to keep going every day. I thank you for that. God bless you and the girls. And God bless our Military Families.

Reply
Esther DiMaggio
1/21/2014 11:42:58 am

Dear, Melissa the only thing I could possible say is that Our Dear Lord has put in hearth for a very significant task, all things you have been doing to HONOR your beloved husband, it has impact and made so much difference among many of us, including myself, I have been living the Army life for over 20 years and I must said, there isn't any regrets with simple fact that every time our husband did deployed has taken away part of us and also leaving us with so much uncertaines,

Reply
Stephanie Swint
1/28/2014 06:31:41 am

Melissa, you are truly an inspiration to all of us. Your husband must be so proud of how you are carrying out his wishes. I am so glad I got to meet you and talk with you. Truly inspiring.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author

    My name is Melissa Jarboe, military spouse, wounded warrior wife and war widow. Today and everyday moving forward, I will honor the sacrifice of our men and women who selflessly serve our nation.

    Archives

    February 2017
    September 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    May 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    August 2012
    May 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    August 2011

    Categories

    All
    Afghanistan
    Congress
    Fort Riley
    Military
    Retirement
    Senate
    Valentines Day

    RSS Feed

1 veteran dies by suicide every 65 minutes. Estimating that
22 veterans a day loses their battle to suicide. We are on a mission to change
​that. Here's how.


Telephone

785.409.1310
Website
www.militaryveteranproject.org
Join our mission of military suicide prevention today!
  • Home
  • Sacrificed Book
  • About
  • News
  • Awards & Accolades
  • Get involved
    • Topeka Veterans Parade
  • Store