Today the girls and I relaxed at home and started watching the first Twilight, then the second ... The love story is so strong and compelling. It reminds me a lot of Jamie and I and the bond we had. I remember it often and at times I wonder if it jaded me a bit, not in a bad way but in the way of setting my standards so high it's hard for someone to reach them.
As I type this I think about the day the girls and I had today, would it be different if Jamie was here? The answer is no.. We would of all lounged in our pajamas and watched movies cuddled on the couch together.. Just enjoying the moment. When I think of anyone else taking that place it is still unimaginable to me, while I know at some point there may be that option, I just don't see it now.
At the start of the last Twilight my phone rang and I was reminded of a request made by the Kansas Koyotes for me to do the coin toss at today's game. It was nice to be welcomed and invited ... I appreciate it but all the work that goes into it is at times overwhelming. Organizing volunteers and then getting equipment ready. Making sure I have everything loading in my car and kids my girls good bye. Sure,it looks cool getting my photo on the field but do you understands what goes into the daily operations of a non profit? The work each day from not only me but hundreds of VOLUNTEERS daily.. I'm amazed and thankful to the people who have my back and understand the purpose, the pride and sacrifice that has gone into the Military Veteran Project. We all smile because we can <3
I learned through the death of my husband that we have been at war far too long, I have learned that people have forgotten. I learned that before my husband was wounded he felt like America didn't care. I learned how to care for my husband and I leaned protocol and military operations. Everything I learned wasn't luck it was survival it was what I had to do to keep my husband alive for our wedding anniversary or to hear lil Lexi read her first book..
I promote the positivity in my posts, my encouragement for others to never give up, just as I have nor will ever give up on carrying on Jamie's dying wish.. But something as a simple as a coin toss isn't luck.. It is a mere freedom denied to many and a freedom of going outside the safety of my home, driving on a road with our IEDS or bombs and waking into a public place and choosing the items I want to buy..Each day will come with a smile and an encouragement just know the reason I live each day because my husband can not and I will use my freedoms on American soil because I can..
And I will never forget the man who loved his country so much, he was willing to die for it and he did.
My name is Melissa Jarboe, military spouse, wounded warrior wife and war widow. Today and everyday moving forward, I will honor the sacrifice of our men and women who selflessly serve our nation.