“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
In this story book of life, things rarely go as planned. However, the hiccups along the way serve as valuable lessons in our evolution as spiritual beings. Also, the challenges we meet help us appreciate the victories even more, and give us perspective on the beauty within those difficult times. With the complexities of modern life, it’s virtually impossible to avoid some sort of problem.
The key to solving the problems lies in how you deal with them, and the following advice could help you keep things in perspective the next time you feel your like your life is spiraling out of control.
11 Things to Remember When Everything Falls Apart
Other people’s problems are not yours. If you have a strong sense of empathy and intuition, you probably feel obligated to help solve everyone else’s problems. However, this can leave you feeling exhausted at the end of the day, and others might start viewing you as their free personal therapist that they can call at all hours of the night. While showing compassion and support for others is important, you need to find balance between helping others and helping yourself.
Keep going; everything happens for a reason. Even if you feel that life is merely one catastrophe after another, all of these difficulties only serve to test us and make us stronger. They enable us to handle future situations in a better way, and teach us valuable lessons about life. Without struggles, we would not experience growth as human beings.
Pain is temporary. Any situation never lasts forever, whether that be a bad breakup, financial struggles, family arguments, or other issues. No matter what you might be going through, console yourself by remembering that you are the master of your emotions. You can choose to see the silver lining in any situation, and transmute the pain into an opportunity for growth.
There is purpose in your pain.Spiritual teachers in the past commonly advised that we attract what we feel and what we are, so any bad situation we face is often the product of our own thoughts and feelings. This may not always hold true, but oftentimes any negative situation can be looked at as a valuable learning tool and an experience to test our highest selves.
Take a minute to pray or to channel positive energy. No matter what you might face, try to look at the bright side of the situation and call on your angels or spirit guides for higher wisdom. They will help ease your frustration or anxiety about the experience, and calm your energy so you can better handle the situation. Prayer will put things into perspective and remind you that everything on Earth works in mysterious cosmic ways which we can’t always understand.
Worrying creates more problems; faith transforms. No amount of worry will change the situation. It will only leave room for more negative energy and more obstacles to enter your life. Keep a positive mindset and trust that the universe only sends you the experiences that you need to help you transform into the best version of yourself.
“The problem isn’t the problem. It’s your attitude about the problem.” – Captain Jack Sparrow
Maybe you should do exactly what you’re afraid of doing. The only way to experience growth is to leave the comfort zone behind. Sometimes you need to test your limits and throw caution to the wind in order to know your true capabilities. You might unearth newfound passions and totally new sides of yourself that you never knew before by conquering your greatest fears.
The bad days allow you to appreciate the good ones even more. Without bad days, you wouldn’t even recognize the good ones as “good,” because you would only have a limited perspective to go by! The funny thing about life is that we can’t know pleasure without pain, happiness without sadness, victories without struggles, and so on. We live in a dualistic reality, meaning we experience opposite ends of the same spectrum in most aspects of life. Appreciate the full experience that this human realm can offer, because often the worst occurrences unveil the best lessons.
Remember that you have a LOT of influence and power over your life. You don’t have to become a victim of circumstance or succumb to defeat; you have total control over your life and can easily turn a bad situation into a good one. Keep in mind that rainbows only show up after a storm, so you must weather the storm in order to recognize the lessons it holds.
“The most important decision you can make is to be in a good mood.” – Voltaire
If you let yourself get into a negative mindset, you will fall into a victim mentality once again. Resolve to keep your mood up despite your current situation, and the negativity will not have any power over you anymore.
Don’t worry, we all have ups and downs. Just look up and keep going. The next time you feel swamped by the pressures of modern life, just remember that you and millions of others are in the same boat. The best thing to do is to actively create a life you love, and the pressures won’t seem so enormous anymore.
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is simply the keen ability to perceive, control, and evaluate the emotions of yourself and those around you. Some experts believe that a person’s EQ outweighs their IQ in terms of their success and how they fare in social relationships.
While it’s still debatable whether emotional intelligence can be learned or if it’s an inborn characteristic, people with high emotional awareness generally avoid the following actions and behaviors:
1. They don’t let their feelings go unchecked.
According to psychologist and author Daniel Goleman, one of the pioneers of emotional intelligence, self-awareness is one of the five main attributes of those with a high EQ. Essentially, emotionally intelligent people have a high level of mindfulness about their emotions and feelings, and possess a deep understanding of how these feelings affect them and the people around them.
They don’t allow their emotions to get out of hand, and they don’t ever ignore how they feel. They might think more with their heart rather than their head, but this makes them more sensitive to the feelings of themselves and others.
2. They don’t dismiss other people’s feelings.
Empathy, another major characteristic of highly emotionally intelligent people, means that you deeply understand how someone else feels, and try to put yourself in their shoes. People with a high EQ don’t disregard how others feel; on the contrary, they actually want to decode the feelings of others because they have such compassion for them. They can even read people’s emotions on their face and gather information about their emotions based on body language. They can anticipate other people’s needs and are highly perceptive.
3. They don’t allow others to control their emotions.
People with a high EQ, while very sensitive, aim to maintain control of their feelings at all times, no matter what other people may say to them. They don’t let other people rain on their parade; they celebrate life and keep a positive attitude, even if they’re celebrating alone. Emotionally strong individuals have a resiliency about them, and bounce back quickly from rejection, betrayal, and other forms of negativity.
4. They avoid the victim mentality.
Because they have such a high awareness of their emotions, they realize that only they can control how they feel. They don’t blame others if they have a bad day, and they constantly regulate their emotions in order to cope best with what’s going on around them. They redirect negative emotions into a more productive activity or thought, and take full responsibility for how they feel.
They avoid complaining to their friends constantly about situations in their life. They don’t like to spend too much time in self-pity, and they motivate themselves to get out of unfavorable situations.
5. They don’t become complacent.
Emotionally intelligent people work hard to achieve their goals, and don’t allow themselves to stay in a slump. They believe in themselves, work through any fears they may have, and stay motivated to reach the finish line, whatever that looks like to them. They don’t avoid change; they seek ways out of their comfort zone because they know it will facilitate their growth and lead to a better future.
6. They don’t ruminate on their feelings.
Even though emotionally intelligent people stay in tune with their emotions, they don’t keep their focus entirely on their inward world. They know when to shift their attention outward and acknowledge the world around them – they know that living inside their head too much can create problems that were never there to begin with. They remain aware of their feelings, but they don’t let them overtake their entire life.
7. They can quickly identify the cause of their emotions.
They are not only adept at recognizing their emotions, but they can also deduce why they feel a certain way. They always dig a little deeper to uncover the source of their emotions so that they can fully understand why the feelings have come up, and form the best plan of action to take care of them.
8. They don’t engage in unnecessary conflict.
Emotionally intelligent people know that emotions are energy, and realize that they must pick and choose their battles. They only get into heated discussions when they feel that the other person deserves an explanation, or when they have no other choice but to confront the person. They avoid most conflicts, though, because they like to conserve their energy for more positive interactions.
9. Emotionally strong people don’t gossip.
They understand how harmful gossip can be, and know that nothing good can come out of it. They seek out more uplifting, deeper conversations with people, and avoid those that only seem to discuss destructive or petty matters. They simply don’t have the energy for mindless conversation and superficial connections with people.
10. They don’t feel ashamed to say no when they have to.
They realize that people have limits, including them, and they can’t possibly say yes to everyone all the time. They know their boundaries, and honor themselves by sticking to them and only agreeing to activities and tasks that they can reasonably accomplish.
11. They don’t give in to peer pressure.
Just because everyone else does something, they don’t feel compelled to follow suit if they don’t want to. They think independently, and never conform just to please other people. They have a headstrong attitude, and often go against the grain. They rarely agree with what the majority of society does, so they tend to go off on their own and carve their own path.
12. They don’t seek approval from others.
If they want something, they go after it without feeling the need to consult others. They validate themselves, so they don’t require others to do it for them. While they respectfully listen to other people’s opinions, they don’t let other’s views form the basis for their decisions in life. They know that as long as they approve of themselves, they can achieve whatever they desire
These boots are decorated with pictures and personal messages to fallen soldiers from Fort Bragg. Volunteers will be decorating over 7000 pairs of boots for a memorial to be displayed during a 5K race in May.
By Amanda Dolasinski Staff writer | UpdatedYesterday
Big blue and red letters scrawled across the toe of a tan Army boot capture the sentiment of a proud - and heartbroken - family.
"Our Hero!," it reads. "Till we meet again!"
Hanging from the boot laces is a tag with a picture of Sgt. 1st Class Keith Callahan, smiling as he stands in his green Army uniform.
The Callahan family said their goodbyes to the soldier in 2007, but will continue to remember him through a temporary special display at Fort Bragg next month.
About 7,500 boots will honor service members from all branches who have died since 9/11. They will be part of a display organized by Fort Bragg's Survivor Outreach Services and Fisher House during the garrison's May 5k family run.
"I think it's going to be a great tribute," said Charlotte Watson, program manager of Fort Bragg's survivor outreach group.
The idea for the display came from similar ones at Fort Hood, Texas, and Fort Campbell, Kentucky, Watson said. The SOS pushed for a display at Fort Bragg to coincide with Memorial Day and began collecting boots in March.
Volunteers tie the laces of each boot and stuff an empty water bottle inside to hold the shape.
During an event last month, members of the Gold Star Wives organization decorated boots for their veterans. Family members have been invited to decorate boots to mail or drop off at the office, otherwise the boot will hold just a tag of the fallen service member.
The boots have been packed in storage tubs, which will be taken to Hedrick Stadium field by trucks and unloaded.
Volunteers will place the boots around the stadium, Watson said. Once the boots are laid out, volunteers will attach a personalized tag with the portrait of a fallen soldier, his or her unit and date of death.
The tags will be in sequential order, and markers to separate years of death will be posted, Watson said.
The unloading and display could take volunteers up to four hours, she said.
Leading up to the event, volunteers have been in and out of the SOS building to help tie laces and stuff boots. Watson said she understood there would be 7,500 boots for display, but knowing they represent a service member, has been overwhelmed to see the boots pile up in her office.
"That has been sad for me, knowing we lost so many," she said. "This is an opportunity to pay tribute to the sacrifice."
The boot for Callahan was decorated by his family during the Gold Star Wives event last month. It bears the signatures of his wife and children.
Callahan, 31, a platoon sergeant with 2nd Battalion, 325th Airborne Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, was covering his men at a road crossing when he was killed in January 2007. A roadside bomb detonated near Callahan when the unit was south of Baghdad.
It was his fourth deployment to Iraq.
On another boot, a family wrote "Lo Que Sea, Donde Sea, Cuando Sea," which translates to "Anything, Anytime, Anywhere" and is the motto for the 7th Special Forces Group.
The boot, which will be displayed in honor of Sgt. 1st Class Pedro A. Munoz, is decorated with patriotic stars and an American flag.
Munoz, 47, of Quebradillas, Puerto Rico, died in January 2005 in Shindand, Afghanistan. He was an operations and intelligence sergeant assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group.
Munoz's patrol came under attack while searching a compound near Shindand Airfield in Herat province.
Next to a little hand drawn heart on the heel of the boot are the signatures of Munoz's wife and daughter.
My eyes were opened to world I never knew existed and to hardships I never imagined possible. In the last three years since I created the Military Veteran Project, we have assisted countless wounded warriors, veterans, and active duty service members with reintegration, rehabilitation to help end military suicide. What we learned along the way is merely common sense, but so much common sense we didn't realize it until we had one case come across our desk. A marine veteran reached out to us three weeks before Thanksgiving, he had been living on he streets waiting for an opening at the local VA for treatment for PTSD. Intake volunteers immediately got the location of the veteran and sent a battle buddy to pick up veteran, take him to dinner and find him a transitional place to call home until the VA had openings. While the veteran was receiving services, as a military widow, I wondered "What about his wife?" "Did he have children?" I asked the battle buddy to get more information on the veteran's family, we found out that the veteran had separated from his spouse because of his night terrors and frustration, the wife literally did not know what to do. She did not have the education, support or direction from anyone in the rural area in which they lived in and no one could help. We later found out the veteran had three children, two of which he had never been able to attach to due to multiple deployments and one toddler who has been able to create somewhat of the bond with.
With all the information on the internet and the big push for PTSD treatments and help for the veteran, the Military Veteran Project came to the conclusion, that you can NOT treat the veteran without treating and education the spouse, the children and family. Ten times to one, once you remove the veteran for treatment, take them out of the family environment, the detachment from the family begins. A part of the treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is treating it as a whole, treating everyone involved and slowly rehabilitation and reintegrating everyone into their new normal.
Today, we are happy to report the veteran and his wife are still going to counseling to understand one another, the children are able to spend time with their father and the family is moving forward one day at a time. The Military Veteran Project was able to create change because of the volunteers who dedicate their time giving back to those who have given so much and help a veteran who was ready to accept the help with open arms.
With that, the Hero Football camp was a huge success for the Military Veteran Project, uniting military children and families together for a day of fun, teamwork and outreach.
Military Children make up a very special part of the nations population. Although young, these brave sons and daughters stand in steadfast support of the military parents through moves and deployments. To honor their unique contributions and sacrifices on behalf of our country, April is designated as month of the military child.
The Military Veteran Project hosted a free Hero Football camp with the help of Kevin Lockett to give back to children who have given so much. Children from active duty, deployed, wounded warriors and children who lost a parent in combat were invited to unite for a day of fun and freedom. To learn more how you can help visit http://www.militaryveteranproject.org/#!donate/c1lts
My name is Melissa Jarboe, military spouse, wounded warrior wife and war widow. Today and everyday moving forward, I will honor the sacrifice of our men and women who selflessly serve our nation.